NICE ONE FROM ERNEST BAKER

There's nothing worse than a doctor's Receptionist who insists that you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients ..................
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist said, " Yes Sir, what are you seeing the the doctor for to-day ?"
"There is something wrong with my Dick" he replied. 
The recetionist became irritated and said "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room saing things like that".
"Why not said the man, you asked her what was wrong and I told you" he said.
The receptionist replied ; "now youve caused some embarrassment in this room full of patients. You should have said that there is something wrong with you ear or something and discussed the problem with your doctor in private."
The man replied,"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man then walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes ??."
There is something wrong with my ear he said,
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing that he had taken her advice." And what is wrong with your ear Sir  ?
"I can't piss out of it" he relied
The wating room errupted in laughter .

MESSAGE FROM BRENDA KINGHAM

"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH ?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS NEW EMPLOYEES. "YES SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL THEN THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANMOTHERS FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU"

TO-DAY

TO-day I have been reminded of Elizabeth Ann Terry, now Elizabeth Ann Taylor. She used to say that she had an Aunt Myrt.
I assume that this is short for Myrtle. I wonder how many girls first names refer to either flowers or Plant Life. The obvious ones that come to mind are Daisy, Rose, Heather, Fern, Lily, May(Blossom)
Albert Kiburns wife was called Jonquill which sadly he shortened to Jonkers How many more can you think off?       


ROY & ELIZABETH ANN TAYLOR

TODAY

TODAY IS AUNTIE PAULINE'S SEVENTY SIXTH BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE PAULINE 

INNER PEACE ( WITH APOLOGIES TO RUDYARD KIPLING) EX EWSBaker

IF YOU CAN START THE DAY WITHOUT CAFFEINE, IF YOU CAN BE CHEERFUL, IGNORING ACHES & PAINS, IF YOU CAN RESIST COMPLAINING & BORING PEOPLE WITH YOUR TROUBLE, IF YOU CAN EAT THE SAME FOOD EVERY DAY, AND BE GRATEFUL FOR IT, IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHEN YOUR LOVED ONES ARE TOO BUSY TO GIVE YOU ANY TIME, IF YOU CAN TAKE CRITICISM AND BLAME WITHOUT RESENTMENT, IF YOU CAN CONTROL TENSION WITHOUT MEDICAL HELP, IF YOU CAN RELAX WITHOUT ALCOHOL, IF YOU CAN SLEEP WITHOUT THE AID OF PILLS ETC,

THEN YOU ARE

PROBABLY

THE FAMILY DOG