INFORMATION

ON 6th January 2017

IT WILL BE JUST 25 YEARS SINCE MY BROTHER

ARTHUR DUDLEY CRAVEN COMMITTED SUICIDE

HE WAS VERY WELL TO DO

IN A PARTICULARLY UNPLEASANT WAY

ON TWELFTH NIGHT IT IS THE TIME TO TAKE DOWN CHRISTMAS TREES

DUTIFULLY ARTHUR TOOK DOWN THE TREE AND TOOK IT TO THE
ILKLEY RECYCLING CENTRE

HE THEN TOOK HIS MOTOR CAR  & DROVE TO THRUSCROSS RESERVOIR

HE FILLED THE POCKETS OF HIS EXPENSIVE SHEEP SKIN COAT

WITH VERY HEAVY STONES

WALKED OUT INTO THE ICY WATER

HIS BODY COULD NOT BE RECOVERED

UNTIL THE RESERVOIR WAS DRAINED

WHICH WAS THE FOLLOWING APRIL

TO-DAY

To-day

To-day 30th December 2016

THE REMAINS OF MY LATE EX-WIFE

& MOTHER OF MY SON ANDY

PAMELA ANN CRAVEN

WERE FINALLY CREMATED

AT 11.OOam

R I P

Update

My father used to say that surnames which are colours such as Brown, Green, Black,Grey,or White are usually of Scottish origin

I have only once heard the surname"Blue"

Lionel Blue, was of Jewish origin , he used to be interviewed on morning radio . He was interesting and quite happy to admit that he was gay. 

Stuart Leslie Filby was 53 years old yesterday.

Yesterday was also the Birthday of my Next-door Neighbour

Pamela Fellows. Pamela's latest achievement is to have 

lost quite a lot of weight.

Pamela is a hard worker for the Labour Party. 

My favourite Christmas song, goes something like this

Hark the herald angels sing

Beechams pills are just the thing

Gently moving meek & mild

Two for adults & one for a child

If you want to go to heaven,

Then you just take six or seven

If you want to go to hell

Then you take the box as well

Hark the herald Angels sing

Beechams pills are just the thing

GOOD NEWS

To-day I have been for my Quarterly Diabetic Review

with nurse Joanne McGee

Since the last review I have lost four pounds in weight

My blood pressure is the lowest on my records

In short, as Emily Bishop would say 

"Everything is  Tickety Boo" 

YESTERDAY- AND TO-DAY

 YESTERDAY MY EX-WIFE

PAMELA ANN CRAVEN

BORN 2/2/1945

SADLY DIED AFTER 26249 DAYS ON THIS EARTH

TO-DAY I HAVE BEEN TO SEE MY 

PSYCHIATRIST DR CHIAURANDERAI

AND ACCORDING TO MY STATISTICS

FROM AN INTERNET PROGRAMME

"TRUE COLOURS"

FROM AN ENGLISH UNIVERSITY

MY BIPOLAR DISORDER IS NOW

NON-EXISTENT

TWO LOTS OF BAD NEWS IN ONE DAY

WE HAVE HAD TWO LOTS OF BAD NEWS

TO-DAY

FIRST & WORST FROM MY COUSIN CHRISTOPHER LAWRENCE CRAVEN

THAT HIS MOTHER MY AUNTIE
RAFFAELLA KITCHEN
HAS LOST HER HUSBAND

CAPTAIN ROBERT BARRY KITCHEN
WHO HAS PASSED AWAY AFTER A LONG BATTLE WITH A CRUEL ILLNESS
DEMENTIA

WE HAVE ALSO HEARD FROM WHITEGATES OF KEIGHLEY

THAT THE SALE OF THE HOMEOF MY LATE NIECE
JANE SINGH DULAY

HAS UNFORTUNATELY
FALLEN THROUGH

TO-MORROW

To-morrow I am going into the Huddersfield Nuffield Hospital for the to sort out the problems which I have been having with my Haemorrhoids

Our Eldest Grandson's wife  Gemma  likes the story that 

What do you get when you mix up your toothpaste

with your Piles ointment,

"Shrunken Gums & a Ring of Confidence "